One of the greatest challenges a couple will face is infidelity. This level of pain and devastation may be so extreme that you question every part of the relationship. As easy as it is to point the finger, in infidelity therapy, we will look at and explore both of you and how each contributed to the break down of the relationship.
The causes of infidelity vary and can be incredibly complex. Affairs can happen in happy marriages as well as troubled ones, and although we’re all susceptible to the betrayal, the good news is that the majority of marriages not only survive infidelity, but they can become stronger and more intimate after therapy.
It’s important to know whether the purpose of treatment is to rebuild the marriage, resolve ambivalence, or separate amicably. One spouse may want to reconcile while the other is unsure, or has even decided that they no longer want to stay in the relationship.
Our process is one of recovery and healing that ultimately leads to forgiveness. Although this process is not a quick one, the stages help us establish safety while addressing painful feelings and emotions around the affair. We will also understand the vulnerabilities around the extramarital involvement, as well as the telling of the story of the affair. We will understand and integrate the meaning of the affair into the present and find a way to move forward. The infidelity will be a part of your story, but it does not have to define it.
What I expect of you:
I expect a serious commitment from you in our work together. I expect you to be open to learning, growing, and receiving feedback that will relate directly to your role in the relationship. I expect you to try be honest, to try not to be defensive, to communicate when you are, and to commit to altering the behaviors that are damaging to the relationship. When these conditions are met, we have an excellent chance that the relationship will not only survive the affair, but that you will have a deeper and greater understanding of each other and the relationship.